I am happily married and have a lot of married friends and something that I have taken away from most of them is how not to act in my relationship. I hear guys talk about their wives and girlfriends at work or when we are just hanging out, in a negative way, like she’s always bitching about this or that. And when talking to my wife their wives talk the exact same way about them, hell even family members do this. This is something I cannot fathom doing, I’m not saying our marriage goes without some bumps in the road, but I would never bad talk my wife to anyone. So I have started a mental list of what I call Boys vs Men and Girls vs Women and would like to share some of the things off of it that I have come up with so far. This is by no means a complete list but maybe it would be helpful to some that need to adjust their relationships a little. (My wife is the same way I am on this)
Boys and girls walk away from an argument or disagreement
Men and Women stay and come to an agreement and make it up to each other
Boys and girls keep secrets from each other and don’t show emotions or become vulnerable
Men and Women share everything, even the things that might hurt, and understand each other or make an asserted effort to understand each other.
Boys and girls worry about themselves and what they are getting out of the relationship
Men and Women worry about what they are putting into the relationship
Boys and girls believe a relationship is shared fifty fifty on everything
Men and Women know that a relationship is 100% all the time and where one might not be as good the other will help them without complaint.
Boys and girls will satisfy themselves in the bedroom and then leave
Men and Women will always go out of their way to make sure the other is just as satisfied or more satisfied than they are.
Boys and girls complain to friends, coworkers, and family about their partner
Men and Women talk to each other when something is bothering them
Boys and girls will get hurt by what their partner says and try and say something back to hurt them
Men and Women will try to fix what the problem is because they want to better themselves to that person.
Boys and girls try to make themselves look good in front of their friends by putting their partner down
Men and Women try to lead by example and always treat each other with respect no matter what others think of them.
Boys and girls will think of something as “Mine”
Men and Women will think of something as “Ours”
So my wife and I talked a lot about how we wanted to be treated and how we wanted to treat each other, and one of the first things we agreed to was that we would never talk the other down in front of anyone. If we had a problem we addressed it with each other so that it could be fixed instead of festering, because we realized that the only people that can fix our relationship is ourselves.
So if you say things like “He is so stupid” or “She is a bitch all the time” or post things on social media about what you want out of a relationship instead of what you are getting out of a relationship. There is a high chance that you are only getting what you deserve out of a relationship. Want to have an amazing person to fall in love with? Be an amazing person to fall in love with.