There is lots of discussion about EXes…. here is my philosophy in dealing with them.
An EX means.. FORMER partner. That means they no longer are a significant part of your life. You have detached the link between you. In my decades of dating experience, only the first breakup was harsh emotionally. Even then, I knew the right way to move on was to simply accept it was over and to continue with my life, with the knowledge a new relationship was around the corner. Since then, each breakup was easy. I could move on the same day, with no emotional aftereffects. It is mental discipline and knowledge that more relationships are to follow. Every person will have several relationships and several breakups before they find “the one”. This is normal, so how you deal with it needs to simply be part of the routine. Simply push them out of your mind and your life and continue on.
Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them? I see people who whine about an ex spreading rumors or posting negative things on social media. Who cares? Their opinion should not matter at all. They are an EX… the past. No longer involved with you. This person is now one of the billions of strangers on the planet. An irrelevant person.
Breakups happen for a reason…
I’m not talking about someone who moved away… I’m talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such. an incompatible person will still be incompatible. An abuser only gets worse. Promises “to change” are always lies. no one changes. It is insane to think someone will in the short term. For any real change, a person needs to mature over decades. I’m not the same person I was 30 years ago. I am, however, the same person I was 10 years ago.
I see these temporary “no contact” periods. Well, good.. except they need to be permanent. No contact ever again.
Then “breaks”… what’s that all about? all this is is an admission you can’t commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn’t going to fly. There is no turning a relationship on or off.
ALSO… getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together… sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there. Who a person was a few weeks ago is going to be the same person they were when you broke up.
“But I still love hm/her” So? That doesn’t mean THEY love you back. There was a reason the relationship ended.
Being “friends” with an ex. Bad move. This for one continues the emotional hurt. Also, if when you get into a new relationship, many partners or potential partners will consider this a deal breaker. I’ve dumped women who were friends with EXes.
This “closure” What’s that about? No such thing… So what? It’s over.. there is your closure.
Move on… where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more. Everyone goes through MANY breakups in their lives. This EX is just on in a long line of future exes. That is life.
Be well and be realistic.